I get plenty of this with my own negative self-talk. I don't need her pointing this out. She was writing it as though her diatribe would be inspiring to people like me. People who are obese. But somehow, I just didn't feel any inspiration at all. I felt shame and hopelessness. It's really really tough trying to find encouragement. People who are not obese have loads of trouble understanding what I'm thinking or what it feels like to be me. It's how I must be with people who have rage issues or do compulsive shopping, I just can't relate. I'd say, "just calm down and put things in perspective" or "how can you enjoy shopping?"
We all have our crosses to bear. It does no good to have someone who never consciously struggled with sin try to help. I have a friend who is a Unitarian. She doesn't believe in sin. She's constantly asking me "what do you think about The Biggest Loser television show." I guess she thinks that's a subtle hint. Well, it ain't so subtle the 20th time you ask!
Encouragement in the area of gluttony and sloth (gosh, I need to exercise more!) needs some key elements.
- An absolute, NOT relativistic approach to the sinful aspect of the gluttony or the sloth
- Understanding: the advisor needs to not put themselves above the glutton. If they do, they get really preachy and self-righteous. That's a sin in and of itself and therefore a turn-off, even if their message would otherwise have been good
- Factual: A proven idea is better than a wive's tale. Soda is proven to increase appetite, advise against that. Ditto for processed foods. Gluten, chromium, soy, and other fad items or diet supplements have NOT been proven safe and effective
- Possible: It's not possible for me to eat only organic, gluten-free, whole foods grown with heirloom seeds within 20 miles of my home. It's not possible for me to take a year off of work to workout 4 hours a day and hire a personal chef either. I need workable options.
I had a video of Susan Powter when I lost weight about 20 years ago. I really liked her. Her video was amazing and I loved it. She has all sizes of people in them, she used to be fat, and she talks with real encouragement during the exercise. My favorite quote that I remember is "don't wipe your sweat, it looks very pretty."
Listen to her. She meets all the above criteria. You can probably get her stuff on ebay or in the library. She was big in the 90s. I find her motivating and encouraging.
If you see any of her other videos, you'll see that she doesn't get nutrition quite right. She was a leader of the low fat craze that lead to fat people eating low fat carbs with extra sugar and millions of calories. Her exercise tips are dead on, not the eating per se. Her rants however and wicked fun! I love this woman!